October 25, 2010

• i sat in the car with you for a long time
  it was winter
  things were cold

  we could see the air
  the way sunlight would reflect
  off of windows
  snow
  and other cars

  i smiled
  you laughed
  we talked

  about poets
  writers
  music

  i wanted you so badly
  wanted to kiss you
  hold you

  tell you who i was
  and why i am
  the way i am

  and as windows fogged up
  you wrote one word on the inside glass

  “why?”

  why now
  why with you
  why?

  i swallowed pride
  thoughts
  life
  and leaned in
  with subtle persuasion

  kissed you on the cheek
  told you i would always love you
  and said goodbye

  snow crunching under my feet
  as i lit a cigarette
  and pulled my collar up

  around my neck.

  • 5:40 pm
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