August 30, 2012

• there are so many days that i feel alone
  fighting invisible ghosts
  not seeing everything in front of me

  and even though these losses are real
  my failures come forward
  one by one

  talking to me
  over coffee and cigarettes
  discussing new ways
  to torture me

  as they pour cream
  and sugar into my cup
  and give new meaning to “loving spoonfuls”

  but i know the sadness is real
  i’ve seen myself on milk cartons
  next to morning bowls of frosted flakes
  shaking off vitamin d upbringings
  and cutting crusts off peanut butter sandwiches

  these mistakes
  these life events
  might just be the end of me

  i see daylight
  i see sun
  i see something down the hallway
  that resembles freedom

  and i honestly can’t tell
  if it’s death
  or rebirth
  or both choices
  standing side by side
  leaving me with decisions
  above and beyond

  my pay grade.

  • 10:13 am
  • 4 Comments